Tulasi Jordan, LCSW, BCD, SEP

Pathways to Emotional and Behavioral Health

Insight Psychotherapy | Articles | Are Your New Year's Resolutions Empowering You

Are Your New Year’s Resolutions Empowering You?

Every once in a while, I hear or read something that really resonates so deeply that it sticks with me and becomes like a mantra--something that I reflect on or repeat through out the day. I believe it’s the same sort of thing that Oprah refers to as an “Ah ha” moment. Not too long ago, I was listening to a recorded lecture, by tantric scholar Dr. Douglas Brooks who provided one of these sticky, thought-provoking statements for me. The instruction he gave was to “receive the gift of yourself.” When I stop throughout the day to take a breath and center myself, this “mantra” helps to change the quality of my attention; it helps me to open more fully into the present moment and also to the preciousness of life-giving presence that flows through me. Consequently, this “mantra” can help to cultivate greater appreciation of the gifts other people bring through their presence.

The first principle in Anusara yoga is “open to grace.” In fact, this is one translation of the word “Anusara” itself. There are many variations of this translation such as “follow your heart” or “flow with grace,” and Dr. Brooks was adding another useful interpretation of the first principle. The underlying supposition to “receive the gift of yourself” is the understanding that you have descended from grace, as grace. So that receiving the gift of who you are is empowering you to feel the divinity in you as you--quirks and all. It presumes you are absolutely worthy and that your life--YOU--are auspicious.

The other encouraging presumption with “receive the gift of yourself” is that your task is not to cultivate something you are not. Playwright Oscar Wilde expressed this when he said, “Be yourself; everybody else is taken.” Furthermore, an essential aspect of this yoga is about deferring to the genius of other people. In other words, you don’t have to do it all; let other people offer their gifts. For many of us, this can come as a great relief.

Yoga, of course, is not meant to be something that is practiced just on your yoga mat or mediation cushion, but is meant to teach us how to engage with life at all times. In tantric philosophy, the focus isn’t so much about emptying ourselves (as is the case in many meditative disciplines), but opening to the beauty of ourselves--and to engage in activities that allow the Grace that is us unfold with more beauty.

So, here we are on the cusp of a whole new year. Like an uncut stone or a lump of clay, the possibilities are infinite. What is it that you desire to create with this allotment of time? Listening to your heart’s desire, and letting your actions flow from this desire is the essence of leading an empowered and creative life in line with the essence of YOU.

If you are like many people, however, you don’t always know what you want; but you can utilize this first principle of Anusara Yoga to help you with your New Year’s resolutions and goals for the coming year.
Here are three questions for contemplation as you set your goals:

What do you do that helps you to receive the gift of yourself? (e.g. artwork, meditation, yoga, prayer)
When do you feel most yourself? Who/what helps you with that?
What/who empowers you to be yourself?
When do you feel most alive?
What can you do more of to offer your gifts into your relationships (relationships with family, friends and/or community)?

Remember that energy follows attention. What you focus on will direct your energy, and so, will determine the quality of your life. After all, it’s your life, why not make it a good one?